Lump in my Throat

Lump in my Throat

“Vulnerability hangover.”

That’s what my husband said as he collapsed on the bed.  We had just spent the afternoon at a piano recital.  My girls and husband started piano lessons about a year ago and last weekend they had a recital.  Leading up to the recital we found ourselves in a handful of debacles.  The three of them do lessons before school starts.  While this is super convenient for us, it is a nightmare for keeping track of their piano music.  After lessons, they neatly and carefully place their folded piece of music into their bags for safe keeping.  Oh how I wish that were true.  Instead, they shove it into an overpacked and massively unorganized back pack.  Which, week by week changes shapes and forms, and more often then not, that music gets lost.  While that is a disaster in itself, it lends to less practice and more drama surrounding the piano experience.

So, leading up to this recital I could feel the tension rising.  Missing music and practicing just one page of a three page piece was certainly not ideal, and the day of the recital was a rough one.  Everyone was on edge, emotions were high, and mama was running out of patience.  I found my voice raising a bit adding to the already high tension levels.  In the final moments before leaving the house I was dealing with a handful of last minute items: the dress wasn’t right, the shoes didn’t fit, the sweater was too short!  Oh dear Lord help me…so many naughty words running through my head.

We get to the church.  About 70 people gathered to both perform and applaud these hard working students.  I had a pit in my stomach, sweaty hands, and armpits to match.  If this is how I felt on the side-lines how did my family feel?  First up, my oldest.  She walked boldly to the piano and assertively introduced herself and her piece, A Whole New World.  Gulp.  I held my breath.  She played the first page flawlessly, the grip on my pant leg let up a bit, I exhaled.  Then it happened.  She played one wrong note.  I could see it on her face.  Panic.  Silence.  I started praying like only a mama can.  Silence still.  I am sending her well wishes, love, kindness, warmth, I’m wishing I would have been more compassionate earlier at home, regret.  More silence.  I can see her eyes starting to well up, it has been at least 10 seconds of dead silence and you can cut the tension in the room with a knife.  I want to yell, “It’s ok, honey. Don’t worry”, I want to run and sweep her into my safe arms and save her from this toxic silence.  The lump in my throat grows with each passing second.  She is staring at her fingers…willing them to do something, anything.  More silence.  Eventually, she skips a slew of measures, and instead just plays the last note, the note that ends the song, but certainly not her agony.  I know she’s just a kid and this too will pass, but I am without words, and my lump is growing.

My eldest and the sweater that was too short.

The other two follow suit.  Each making mistakes and stumbling through their pieces.  My husband struggled too, but not because of lack of practice, just the pressure of performing as an adult among a trove of young kids.

FullSizeRender 4
My youngest and the alternate pair of shoes.

We all head home, heads hung low. It’s as if we’d just witnessed a tragedy.  When we get home, everyone retreats to a quiet place.  I am still feeling the pain of that moment, but there is something else I feel that I can’t describe.  It’s warm and authentic and deep…I feel proud.  How in the world could I be feeling pride, when as a family, we performed the worst (and I’m not just saying that).  I  took a moment to just sit and think, and when I did, the lump spilled over.  I was so deep down proud of my family.  Through my tears I realized how hard it was to put themselves out there.  How hard it is especially knowing you won’t be the best.  How hard it is, to even try,when success is so far away on the horizon.  So, there I sat on the bed, rubbing my husband’s back, as he dealt with his vulnerability hangover ,and I sorted through my unexpected feeling of pride.  Being vulnerable is hard.  It’s embarrassing.  It’s humiliating at times, but, boy, is it inspiring.

Sure, the girls learned valuable lessons about being prepared, but I hope that’s not all they learned. I hope they watched their dad carefully, and felt the same pride I did.   He was showing them, in the best way possible, how to be vulnerable.  He used no words, made no mention of life lessons, he just did, and, so did they.   So, next recital, you might see me standing on my chair yelling a big whoop whoop no matter the outcome, because once you understand, and appreciate the magnitude of being vulnerable, it deserves a standing ovation.

My husband. Be still my heart.

Swimsuit not optional…

Last week I visited the lovely city of Cancun in Mexico.  We were ready to enjoy all the many benefits of sunshine, sand, and surf.  It is always so refreshing.  Nathan and I go there once a year.  Always 4 days, 3 nights – a long weekend and then it’s right back at it.  Usually the weather is nothing but dreamy, but there is an occasional sun shower.  If we come across a day like that, we make a plan to do the spa.  In preparation for such inclement weather we decided to tour the spa just in case.  It was an upscale spa with a separated men and women area.  I saw this before in Vegas too – very classy.  They do this so that each sex has the ultimate in privacy and so that you can experience all the water/steam/sauna amenities without having to wear a suit.  At the thought…my heckles instantly went up.  I would have to be by myself sans suit.  Uffda.  Why was I so intimidated by being naked?  It really wasn’t that big of a deal, or was it?

As the day progressed and we looked at the upcoming day’s weather forecast, rain was looming.  It was ok, I was ready, face freckled, lips chapped and sun drenched, I could use some time indoors.  I woke up the next morning to the sound of rain and knew spa time had come.  I started my internal pep talk…I can be naked…I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.  I kept telling myself, “no one knows you, who cares”, but I kept feeling that churning in my stomach.  Finally I came to that moment…the Towanda moment (watch Fried Green Tomatoes if you don’t get that reference).  We walked to the spa and I had my mind made up…I would be naked and proud.

So, I walked in.  There were 3 other women in the spa area, all with their swimsuits on.  I smirked with my new found confidence, Americans, so afraid of being nude.  I promptly unloaded my stuff at the locker, dropped my suit and walked my naked little bum cheeks into the hot tub.  I laid there, eyes clothes, pretending to be so cool with my nakedness.  Inside my heart was pounding and I felt a bit nauseous. I sat there practicing my deep breathing until the pressure of watching eyes was too much.  I got up and headed for the sauna.  Alas, at least there I would be alone.  Another 10 minutes passed, I was starting to feel kinda clever.  I walked out, ready to take the cold plunge, patting myself on the back with each step, when my plan got quickly interrupted.   A staff member was high-speed walking my way.  She looked at me with disgust and scolding eyes, arms waving across her chest and says, “Swimsuit por favor!”  Oh. My. Goodness.  I try desperately to think of a French phrase to let myself off the hook, but instead I stare like a deer in headlights.  I am in shock.  I am breaking the rules, being nude is not an option.  I want to run and hide.  Curse that one time I go for it and no one is around to help me!  I nod, walk away, head held high, put my swimsuit back on and sulk in the steam room.  I can. not. believe. what I just did.  What was I thinking??

FullSizeRender 3

Morale of the story?  Wish I had one.  I guess I’m sorta proud that I took a chance and tried to be brave and confident with my body.  Did anyone look at my nakedness and feel inspired to shed their own suit?  Did they wonder at the freedom I felt?  Did they whisper quietly to each other wondering who the crazy American was?  In the end I had a really good laugh with my husband, a really good one.  It was worth the risk, the nausea, the embarrassment, because now I have a story to share and a memory I won’t likely forget.  So, when in doubt, go for it.  Go big and own it. If you get it wrong, at the very least, you can say you tried and then later find some space to laugh at’s refreshing.

Red Faced and Giggly,

Sara J (founder of trumi)

My Stupid Bloody Lip

My Stupid Bloody Lip

Chair lift selfie – I would not advise this.

My spirits were high.  On Friday we had our first official day on the slopes (about time right?).  We had carefully picked up new skis and boots for both our little girls and were heading to the chalet early to get their bindings adjusted – it was going to be a great day.  

As we drove, I could feel the heat rising…not sure why all of us chose to put on 20 layers of gear before we actually got outside, but at the time, it seemed like a good idea.  I can feel a tinge of angst from the heat, but try to ignore that and keep my spirits up.  When we arrive, all goes well, we schlep 7 bags (yes 7) and the skis & poles into the chalet and get in line for adjusting.  The heat seems to be creeping ever higher, but I breathe and think of my powerful meditative ways to trigger my inner zen.  It’s our turn to get the skis adjusted (finally), and then we get a little lecture that they don’t usually do the adjustments so quickly (I grit my teeth a little…I had called ahead to be sure it would be ok).  Another deep breath, heat rising…

So we move into a different sitting area to wait.  We have a snack (a healthy snack – patting myself on the back), we all chat and wait…one hour.  Meanwhile my girls decide the helmets they decorated last year with duct tape are no longer quite right and they want it all removed.  So we start ripping and tearing the tape off.  It’s a little stubborn and the heat is really rising now.  I am pulling, grunting, and scratching at the damn tape and then boom, it happened.  I wrenched at a piece of tape and it let loose and so did the helmet – BOOM, right into my face.  My lip to be exact.  It stings.  I’m now sweaty hot with a bloody fat lip – and still an hour out from hitting the slopes.  Dear God help me!  Breathe, just breathe.

The moment we hit the slopes. Epic lip battle wound covered well by grown up pose.

Layers of tape…

We all have layers of tape – sometimes we put them on to feel better or look better.  They aren’t necessary, and often bog us down.  Some layers have been on for years and years, making them especially difficult to consider pealing off.  Then, there’s that moment where we decide we don’t need them anymore and we want the original.  As we strip away the layers, residue is left behind and maybe even some scratches and dings, and damn the process can really hurt.  BUT the original…it’s so original.  It’s 100% the true us – with all the bumps, scratches, and bruises…if you take it all in, it’s breathtaking.  We don’t necessarily see the original reflection of beauty, somehow it’s better now, with more depth, more meaning, more experience.

Do you have tape wrapped around you?  Is it really helping?  Is it something superficial that once removed would reveal something, perhaps not as shiny, but more authentic?  I challenge you to pull it off – get the fat lip, embrace the residue and feel ever more yourself.  Need some help with the process?  We’d like to volunteer. The trumi health coaching program is well equipped to give you the tools you need and support you want to take those layers off and find your true self.

In honor of my skiing adventure, and my interesting “meal” while skiing – I give you a healthy snack idea: peanut butter balls – pack them up for your next Après time:

BP balls

CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER PROTEIN BALLS (what’s not to love about chocolate and peanut butter?)

2 cups crunchy peanut butter
2 scoops chocolate whey protein (I love warrior whey)
2 ripe bananas mashed
2 T flaxseeds (ground of roasted depending on your texture preference)

Mix together, form into small teaspoon sized balls, freeze on parchment paper for 2 hrs! Voila, a yummy snack ready when you are!


Recipe: Healthy Peanut Butter Cup Cupcakes

From our favorite food blogger: Fit Foodie Finds

We promise this recipe will be scrumptious! There are a few extra steps than the other recipes we’ve posted.



Base Batter

  • 3/4 cup ground oat flour
  • 3/4 cup white whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/8 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup coconut sugar
  • 2 eggs, large
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 3 tablespoons honey
  • 1/3 cup apple sauce
  • 1 cup almond milk
  • 1/4 cup coconut oil

For the Peanut Butter Layer

  • 1 cup base batter
  • 2 tablespoons peanut butter powder
  • 1 tablespoon peanut butter

For the Chocolate Layer

  • The rest of the base layer
  • 1/4 cup cocoa powder
  • 1 tablespoon honey

For the Frosting

  • 1 cup peanut flour
  • 3/4 cup almond milk, unsweetened
  • 2 tablespoons honey


For the Base Batter
1. First, preheat oven to 350ºF. Place all of the dry ingredients in a large bowl. Then in a separate bowl, mix together all wet ingredients, minus the coconut oil.
2. Add the wet ingredients to the dry ingredients and mix until combined. Melt coconut oil and add to the batter. Mix.
For the Peanut Butter Layer
1. Spoon out 1 cup of the base batter into a separate bowl. Then, add in peanut butter powder and peanut butter and mix until combined.
For the Chocolate Layer
1. Using the rest of the batter, mix in ¼ cup cocoa powder and 1 additional tablespoon of honey.
For the Peanut Butter Cup Muffins
1. Spray a cupcake tin with nonstick cooking spray (I used coconut oil cooking spray). Then, spoon in 2 heaping tablespoons of the chocolate layer. Add 1 heaping tablespoon of the peanut butter layer on top of the chocolate.
2. Bake at 350ºF for 20 minutes.

For the Peanut Flour Frosting
1. Mix all ingredients together. If your frosting is too thin, add more peanut flour. If your frosting is too thick, add more almond milk.

For more pictures and other yummy recipes visit:

Recipe: Healthy Quinoa Chili



1 cup quinoa
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 onion, diced
2 (14.5-ounce) cans diced tomatoes
1 (15-ounce) can tomato sauce
1 (4.5-ounce) can diced green chiles
1 1/2 tablespoons chili powder, or more, to taste
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 1/2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
1 (15-ounce) can kidney beans, drained and rinsed
1 (15-ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 1/2 cups corn kernels, frozen, canned or roasted
3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro leaves
Juice of 1 lime, optional
1 avocado, halved, seeded, peeled and diced


  1. In a large saucepan of 2 cups water, cook quinoa according to package instructions; set aside.
  2. Heat olive oil in a Dutch oven or large pot over medium high heat. Add garlic and onion, and cook, stirring frequently, until onions have become translucent, about 2-3 minutes.
  3. Stir in quinoa, diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, green chiles, chili powder, cumin, paprika, cayenne pepper and 1-2 cups water, making sure to cover most of the ingredients; season with salt and pepper, to taste.
  4. Reduce heat to low; simmer, covered, until thickened, about 30 minutes. Stir in beans, corn, cilantro and lime juice, if using, until heated through, about 2 minutes.
  5. Serve immediately with avocado, if desired.

Recipe via:

How many calories do you burn…?


Did you know you can burn calories doing fun winter activities! How awesome is that? These activities don’t feel like exercise they are a fun way to hang out with friends and burn a few calories along the way.

Skiing 300-600 an hour

Snowboarding 300-600 an hour

Ice Skating 400 an hour

Cross Country Skiing 575 an hour

Snowshoeing 500 an hour (nature centers often have inexpensive snow shoe rentals and trail you can hike on)

Sledding 400 an hour

Foods Rich in Vitamin D

When the winter months come the sunlight fades. We need ways to get our Vitamin D in besides sunlight. Eating foods rich in vitamin D is a perfect way to obtain vitamin D during the long winter months.


  1. Cod Liver Oil
  2. Oily Fish – Smoked Salmon, Smoked White Fish, Mackerel, Tuna, Halibut, Herring, Tilapia
  3. Mushrooms – Maitake, Morel, Chanterelle, Oyster
  4. Fortified Cereals
  5. Tofu – Lite Silken Tofu, Sprouted Tofu, Extra Firm Tofu
  6. Caviar
  7. Dairy Products – Buttermilk, low fat yogurt, fortified goats milk
  8. Pork – Spare rib, turkey and pork sausage, pork shoulder, pork loin
  9. Eggs – raw, scrambled, hard boiled, poached, and omelet
  10. Dairy Alternatives – soymilk, almond milk, rice milk

For more information visit:

Pesto Salmon & Italian Veggies in Foil




4(6oz) skinless salmon, skinless fillets


1 pint Grape tomatoes

1 1/4 lbs Green beans, fresh


4 tsp, Lemon juice, fresh

4 tbsp Pesto, homemade or store bought

Baking & Spices:

1 Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Oils & Vinegars:

3 tsp Olive oil



  • Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Bring a pot of water to a boil. Cut four pieces of aluminum foil into 14-inch lengths. Boil green beans 3 minutes, then carefully drain (asparagus doesn’t need to be boiled before baking).
  • Toss green beans (or asparagus) with 2 tsp olive oil and season with salt and pepper to taste, divide into 4 servings and layer in center of each piece of foil. Season both sides of salmon with salt and pepper. Layer salmon over green beans and then spread 1 Tbsp pesto over top. Drizzle 1 tsp lemon juice over each fillet. Toss tomatoes with remaining 1 tsp olive oil and season lightly with salt. Spread over each salmon fillet. Wrap sides of foil in and roll and crimp edge to seal, then wrap ends upward to seal (don’t wrap too tightly you want the heat to be able to circulate well).
  • Place side by side on a baking sheet and bake in preheated oven until salmon has cooked through, about 20 – 28 minutes (cook time will vary depending on thickness of salmon and desired degree of doneness).

Recipe Source via:

I had a booger on my lip

I was on a long, post turkey day, walk with a large group of my clients and their family members.  It was such a great moment I was meeting new people, spending time with treasured friends – I was in my element.  I was so happy, fresh air, families, and a little adventure from the icy roads – what could be better.  I was walking around chatting everyone up, learning about their holiday meals and plans for the upcoming winter.  We were all in good spirits, under my breath I was singing Christmas carols – I couldn’t even help it.  Then it happened.  Just minutes from the finish my husband says, you have something on your lip.  It looks like a booger he says.  I die a little…it was a booger and I knew exactly how it got there.

At the start of the walk my daughter’s nose was running and I saw a green pea-sized marble working it’s way onto her lip.  I didn’t have a tissue, so I did what any good mother would do, I tried to wipe it away with her shirt…it didn’t quite reach.  Alas, with no other choice, I used my glove. One quick stroke and it was gone. Then I simply swiped my finger in the snow to rid myself of any evidence (like any good northerner would). I smiled and thought to myself – crisis averted. Nope.  Moments later, a few strands of hair blew into my mouth and got glued there from my ever-present winter chapstick.  I quickly wiped the hair away, and while the hair was gone, the booger got relocated.

I was happy when my hubby had my back, but I had literally talked to dozens of people who neglected to tell me about the shiny green number staring back at them.  Why would they see the train-wreck of a situation unfolding in front of them and say nothing? Did they talk about it later, I wondered? In the end, I had to realize it wasn’t their job to save me from the booger.

That brings me to the bigger point. I think we often walk around with a train wreck situation and other people notice, but they don’t do anything to really help. It’s not that they don’t like you, maybe even love you, but it’s not their job. That’s where trumi coaching comes in. We often have all the tools we need, but we don’t know how to use them. We’ve spent hundreds if not thousands on gym memberships, diet foods, and gimmicks, but those things were no better then the snow at helping to remove our booger. We all need someone who has our back; someone to care about our whole self, our best self, our true self.   Someone that’s not afraid to tell you about the booger and even give you something to take care of it. Let us be your someone. Whether that’s helping you manage stress, eat better, move more, or just learn to laugh more often. We’re ready, we’re equipped, and we totally have your back. To learn more visit

Laugh more
Laugh more

Recipe: Homemade Ketchup



One 6-ounce can tomato paste
1/2 Cup water
1/4 Cup vinegar
1/4 Teaspoon salt
1/4 Teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 Teaspoon ground onion
1 3/4 Tablespoon raw sugar


Empty the tomato paste into a pan and stir until smooth. Slowly add the water while stirring. Slowly add the vinegar while stirring. Combine the rest of the ingredients and stir into the tomato paste over low heat. Once simmering, remove from the heat, and place into containers. Refrigerate until cool.

Recipe Via: